​Rejection Emotions: How can we learn to  manage them?


​Rejection Emotions: How can we learn to manage them?

Posted on 15 June 2022

Rejection Emotions: How can we learn to manage them?

In a world where we only hear about the promotions or new jobs connections are getting on Linked In, we don’t hear about the rejections they received along the way.

We are biologically wired to belong, to be accepted and wanted, which relates back to ‘survival’ periods of our evolution.

Whether you are a candidate who has been rejected for interview or a job offer, or a client rejected by a candidate you have offered a job to, here are some ways to cope and rebound from rejection.

1) It's not just happening to you.

Take a small measure of comfort in knowing that everyone has been through the same thing. There will be some people who look like they’re getting all the breaks, but they just keep their rejections a secret! Take comfort in knowing that everyone else is experiencing similar feelings of fear, stress, and bouts of depression. Everyone at one point in their career gets rejected for a role, loses out to an office rival for a promotion or gets ghosted after interviews. 

2) Maybe it's not meant to be.

Occasionally, you catch a break and you’re in the right place at the right time. Most often, you're in the wrong place at the wrong time. Not getting selected to move on in the interview process, not getting a pay rise or big bonus may have nothing to do with you. It could be due to a host of other factors. The job may have been placed on hold or the company went in a different direction. There could have been an internal candidate that received the job offer.

3) Consider your approach.

It may be time to do some self-analysis. Are you applying for jobs outside of your core competencies? What does your social media footprint say about you? How’s your tone in the interview or at the office? 

When you've been beaten down, it's easy to start feeling bitter, resentful, and angry. These unattractive traits could work against you. If a manager senses that you're unhappy and blame others for everything that’s happened in the past, they won't be interested in extending an offer or giving you more responsibilities. In this job market, they'll believe that there are many other smart, capable, and level-headed people with positive attitudes available.

4) Make adjustments.

Share your presentation style with trusted friends and mentors. Ask them for their honest evaluation, constructive criticism, and feedback. Really listen to what they have to say and enact the necessary alterations to your approach.  

You should also take a step back and assess other elements too. Review your CV, LinkedIn profile, networking strategy and social media postings. People look at these things and make snap judgements. Ensure that you are presenting yourself in the best light.

Think of all the questions that could be asked of you and rehearse your answers. 

5) Manage your expectations.

Getting a new job is very hard and can take a long time. 

Focus on the victories along the way and celebrate them. Feel good when you hear from a company. Pat yourself on the back when you get an interview. Get excited about a second round. Keep in mind that the odds are stacked against you. So, if the offer does not materialise, you can move on to the next one!

6) Keep a running list of your good qualities.

Rejection can drain your self-confidence and question your abilities. You may start ruminating on all the bad breaks that hurt you in the past. Left unchecked, you can slide down a slippery slope of self-doubt and second-guess any decision you make. 

Replace the negative feedback loop with a recap of all your positive qualities and achievements. When a negative thought pops up, immediately replace it with a memory of a time in which you overcame difficult times. Mentally repeat back all your accomplishments—both big and small. It will serve as a reminder that you’ve succeeded in the past and can prevail against all odds in the future.

7) Positive mantras help.

Self-talk yourself into a success-oriented mindset. Have a list of positive affirmations and play them on a loop to fight back against the obstacles and hurdles in your path.  

“This is merely a minor setback; I will find a new job!” 

“Just because I was rejected for the job does not diminish my self-worth and value.” 

“I am smart, talented and have a lot to offer.”

“I won’t give up and will make it through this tough time!” 

8) Stay strong and resilient

You need this to power through the daily challenges. A helpful tip is to take care of yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  

Hit the pause button and stop obsessing over your situation.

It's not easy to cope with rejection. This will be a constant battle. By focusing on staying strong, reminding yourself of all your great qualities, re-evaluating your approach, adopting positive mantras, taking a break, and adjusting your definition of success, it will help you combat and overcome the feelings associated with rejection.

For interview preparation in interviews to give yourself the best chance of success, please see our Interview Preparation blogs at Blog (aldwychconsulting.com)

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